smell my finger.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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