You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
