i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
