so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
