i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
