Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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