The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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