fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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