Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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