dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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