Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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