I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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