I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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