rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm sobbing to NWA
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
