So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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