Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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