I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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