a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
