Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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