he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
you made out with another girl for some wings
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
