wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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