Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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