I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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