OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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