Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
