I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
