This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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