carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
