i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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