come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
