I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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