if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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