i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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