I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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