Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
