im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
