I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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