I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize