she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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