found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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