You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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