**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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