I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
