what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
