It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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