It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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