I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
