anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize