Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize