I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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