Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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