I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
