Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
