You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
