It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
