Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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