She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
