dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
