Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize