I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
