I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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