I smell stomach acid.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think your dad took our porno
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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