Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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