I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
