Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
