ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
