what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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