I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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