Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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