:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
