Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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