everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
