it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
