benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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