I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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