yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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