are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
