I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
