Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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