he wants to bone in the snuggie
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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