one two three fourrrrnication!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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