i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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