What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
