I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
