i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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